Here is a list of things that might appear on each teams letter to Santa:
Anaheim-for a bad case of VD to hit Brain Burke as payment for the shit storm he left when he departed for the Big Smoke.
Atlanta-someone to play with Ilya Kovalchuk.
Boston-the return of Cam Neely to put them over the hump for a cup.
Buffalo-another RFA offer sheet this off season from the Oilers to ensure they don’t lose their best players to other markets in the future.
Calgary-for Iggy to develop a more marketable persona…like the Blue Blazer (at least according to Sean Avery) and for Dion Phaneuf to move on to the sloppy seconds of Mark Messier, and A-rod. Isn’t Madonna old enough to be his Mom?
Chicago-more games against the Edmonton Oilers and a flavored mouth guard for Caine so he keeps it in his mouth.
Carolina-a firecracker to stick up Staal’s ass or maybe that will be Paul Maurice.
Columbus-for someone to find Leclaire’s mojo.
Colorado-a snow blower safety manual for Sakic.
Dallas-I think we all know….for Ed Belfour to return as his asshole antics pale in comparison to Avery.
Detroit-do they need anything? An economic stimulus package to help their fans afford tickets.
Edmonton-a true first line centre to play with Hemsky.
Florida-free BJ for Jay-bo so he wants to stay.
Los Angeles-a tender to back stop their youth.
Nashville-for Radulov to come crawling back.
New Jersey-speedy return for Brodeur to ensure he breaks all of Roy’s records.
New York Islanders-a return to the Captain High Liner jersey logo so they can have a fish and chip promo night.
New York Rangers-an end to the Sundin saga.
Ottawa-an attitude adjustment.
Philadelphia-a great big hell ya that Clarke is nothing more than figure head, and has stopped fucking up their cup chances with bad trades, and crappy free agent signings.
Phoenix-for the Great One to see the light.
Pittsburgh-for Crosby and Malkin to become the next decade long one two punch that rivals the likes of Gretzky/Messier or Lemieux/Jagr.
San Jose- for Joe Thornton to play up to his full potential in playoffs.
St. Louis-to stop trading for Toronto’s spare parts.
Tampa Bay-more forwards and fewer quality d-men as they could do a much better job of supplying teams in Europe with their over paid signings.
Toronto-a goalie with a save % at least in the top 30.
Vancouver-enough pads and pons for the Sedin sister as they mature, and a real GM.
Washington-for the cap to go up so they can keep their team together.