Fire MacT?

Roughly a quarter of the way through the season and Edmonton Oiler fans, including myself, are quickly evolving from being optimistic to finding that fuzzy and dangerous zone personified by Michael Douglas in Falling Down. In summary, the team sucks, and nothing illustrated that more than a pathetic effort Wednesday night against a Kings team that was curb-stomped by the Flames the previous evening. That the Kings played the night before is just one part of the equation; the Oil had five days of rest heading into the game, so the loss was a particularly stinging junk-punch to fans and perhaps an indicator that the players are starting to tune out Craig MacTavish.

The long and largely mediocre run of MacT as the head coach in Edmonton is usually justified by MacT supporters by the miracle Cup run of 2006; what people seem to forget is that the club lost, and the next year was an absolute fucking atrocity. Still, I have some sympathy for MacT, as Kevin Lowe wasn’t exactly flawless with his roster management this off-season. Questionable decisions include:

a) The three-headed goalie monster. This is a clusterfuck, and has frustrated the goalies, fans, and most likely, every player in the locker room. I’m sure even Joey Moss has had enough.

b) Letting Curtis Glencross walk while getting cockteased by Hossa and Jagr in the summer free agent frenzy. The 3rd and 4th lines have clearly lacked any jam or sense of urgency. Perhaps they didn’t like the whopping $1.2 million a year he was asking for, but he clearly fit last year. Considering MA Pouliot is making $1 million this season to fill a locker and Zach “Totally Fucking Useless” Stortini received a 2 year deal, I think signing Glencross was an easy decision. I guess when you’re not a 1st round draft pick bust or a coach’s pet project, your contributions can be overlooked.

c) The lack of balance in the forward lines. Trading for Erik Cole was a good idea. Playing him out of position and then trying to make a consistent 25 goal scorer a 3rd line checker is not. I’m guessing he won’t be clamoring to resign when his free agent number comes up on July 1st. The Kid Line was magic in a bottle last year, but it is readily apparent teams are better prepared for them this year. Perhaps juggling the lines and playing a rugged veteran on the exceedingly soft 2nd line might help.

Now, this doesn’t excuse MacT’s perpetual line blender, the undeserved promotion of Kelly Buchberger from his unsuccessful AHL coaching gig, his insistence on playing guys out of position, or the ridiculous double standards he holds for “safe players” who contribute nothing but don’t make mistakes. I just think it shows that there are many cooks in this smelly, rotting kitchen, and that another playoff miss requires the new owner to take a hard look at the organizational structure of the franchise.

Clearly, shit is just not right with this club.

Good Night to the Mullet

A not-so-graceful stint for notorious mullet wearer Barry Melrose cam to a merciful conclusion last week, as Melrose was shit-canned by fantasy hockey league players/Tampa Bay Lightning owners Len Barrie and Oren Koules. Clearly, this franchise is a total state of disarray, and now hands over the coaching reigns to Rick “The Gambler” Tocchet. Let’s take a look in the rear view mirror at the many strange moves by this club in the last 6 months:

a) Emasculating Jay Feaster – Say what you will about some of Feaster’s moves, but he does have a Cup on his resume and grabbed a solid return in the Brad Richards deal. This firing was probably a little unfair to say the least.

b) Hiring Barry Melrose- 15 years is a long time, and Melrose was clearly outmatch as evidenced by his short stint.

c) Resigning Dan Boyle to a long-term deal and then trading him – Boyle is prospering in San Jose, and it is pretty clear the Lightning currently lack the transition game necessary to thrive in today’s game. Oh wait, they have Steve Eminger, so it’s going to be okay now.

d) Signing 47 free agent forwards – Clearly, all those forwards have yet to glue for the Lightning and I don’t think some of them ever will (yes, I’m looking at you Radim Vrbata).

e) Trading Matt Carle – To say you’re trading the prime piece of the Dan Boyle trade to clear salary cap space is either a) disingenuous or b) reflective of how fucking confused team management is. Take your pick.

There you have it. This team looks like a club somebody puts together in a fantasy pool; lots of recognizable names, but no real fit. We’ll see if they’ve got enough character in their room to pull it together. I have a hard time believing this group is last in the league in scoring, but it is what it is. This could be a long season in Tampa.

I predict:
a) About 7 more trades
b) The resurface of Lecavalier to Montreal rumors
c) Team bankruptcy.

Oh well, at least the Bucs and the Rays are good.

HockeySmack Is Not Dead... and snapshots

With life catching up with us here at HockeySmack, we’ve clearly been a wee bit negligent in keeping up our work here. Well, we’re going to try to keep on trucking with more frequent takes on shit going down in the world of hockey. So, here are some rapid takes on the first month of the season:

TB Lightning: Not off to a flying start. Their combination of personnel moves and coaching hire (The Mullet) leaves you wondering if important decisions are made in consultation with a couple of 8-balls of cocaine, a few bottles of Scotch and some high-priced escorts. The Matt Carle trade is just the latest “What the fuck?!?” moment since the Lightning “braintrust” started calling the shots. The results are just a wee bit confusing to say the least. Come on now Lightning ownership: focus!

Minnesota Wild: Good start. I would still rather have a three-way with any two of the Golden Girls than watch a Wild game though.

Denis Savard – Shitcanned after 4 games. Huh? Well, you’ll always have the spinarama Denis!

Edmonton Oilers – More inconsistent than Tori Spelling’s physical appearance in Beverly Hills 90210, the Oil have been all over the road in just about every facet of their game. The Kid Line is suffering a collective sophomore slump, and the goaltending has been more bad than good. I see a Kari Lehtonen trade in my crystal ball…

Detroit Red Wings– Way good. Look out Western Conference.

Florida Panthers – Still brutal. Still likely to trade Bouwmeester. Nice to see progress. Can we not have a team in Miami please?

Todd Bertuzzi – On pace to be -40. Great pick up. The Flames appear to be more up and down than a pregnant woman’s mood swings. Looks like Alberta hockey fans are in for a roller coaster ride this season.

CBC – Not feeling the new song, and really hating Mike Milbury. How the fuck can arguably the worst GM in NHL history have any credibility as an analyst? Compound that with the stammering and clueless PJ Stock, and even the animatronic robot pretending to be the long dead Don Cherry seems informed in comparison.
Note: Seeing Don Cherry in high def is really weird. He wears more make-up than Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls, and looks like he could pass as the Ghost of Christmas Future. Please retire Grapes!

Eklund: An E4 on Eklund remaining totally full of shit.