Okay, so maybe “destroyer” is a bit tough, but how about “harmer” or “poor addition that will lead to future difficulties.” This dude has been involved in so many ill-advised hockey decisions that I have a hard time believing GMs keep offering him cash and a roster spot. The funny thing is, this doesn’t even include his attempted crippling of Steve Moore (not that I have any problem with him bulldogging a guy to the ice; I’m just glad he was stopped before he put Moore in a sharpshooter), which not only killed Moore’s hockey career, but led to end of the mildly successful Burke/Crawford era in Vancouver. I won’t delve into this issue because frankly every time I hear about it I want to randomly Bertuzzi some poor unsuspecting slob in my office. So, let’s look at the list of Bertuzzi boggles:
1) 2006 - Todd Bertuzzi, Bryan Allen and Alex Auld from the Vancouver Canucks to the Florida Panthers for Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajieck, and a 6th round pick (Sergei Shirokov)
This ranks as one of the worst trades in NHL, and perhaps professional sports, history. Bertuzzi, limited by a bad back and a dwindling reservoir of both courage and talent, played a whopping 7 games in Florida, scoring 1 goal. Luongo solidified his rep as the best goalie in the league by leading Vancouver to a Northwest Division title and the playoffs in his first season as a Canuck, before the team slipped last year due to their complete inability to score goals or provide their fans with entertaining hockey. I know then-Florida GM Mike Keenan has stated his hands were tied by Luongo’s impending free agency, but sweet Jesus man, shop around! This trade was absolutely fucking brutal and set the Panthers back years.
2) Trade deadline 2007 – Todd Bertuzzi from the Florida Panthers to the Detroit Red Wings for Shawn Matthias and a conditional draft pick
After Bertuzzi shit the bed and was an utter failure in Florida, the Panthers went into salvage mode and flipped him to the cup-hungry Detroit Red Wings. Detroit went on a lengthy run before being bounced out by the eventual Stanley Cup champion Anaheim (Worst Team Name in Professional Sports) Ducks. Bertuzzi’s Detroit contribution? A whopping 4 points in 8 regular season games followed by an even more underwhelming 7 points in 16 playoff games. Going the other way? Shawn Matthias, a promising young player who figures to make the Panther line-up as a top 9 forward. A rare swing-and-miss by Ken Holland as Todd Bertuzzi again subtracts more than he adds to an organization. So, at this point you would think no one would touch this dude again right? He’s sure to begin hanging out with Theo Fleury, picking fights in Belfast pubs and trying out for Z-level minor pro baseball teams. Not so fast True Disbelievers!
To Be Continued
JB
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